Holiday Heat IV (Audio Script)

Stories

It’s just a walk. Just like it was just a carriage ride. Just a night at the pub. It’s not like I’m being chased through the wilderness or that I have anything to be afraid of.

It’s just Nick. Just a walk.

He’s not my ex. He’s nothing like my ex.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Oh! Hm?”

“You’re quiet… which is either mildly ominous, or intensely interesting.”

“Why not both?”

“Am I boring you?”

“No! I’m just… thinking.”

My stomach knots, dipping in a way that makes me feel unsteady when he doesn’t look away. His gaze is soft, searching, and his open expression makes me want to tell him everything… why I hate Christmas, and how it ended up with me taking a last minute trip here, in an attempt to escape the memory of what happened the last time I let someone get close enough to hurt me.

I don’t miss my ex, but I miss who I was before I became so guarded.

I’m afraid if I’m not careful, Nick’s going to make me forget why I built these walls so high in the first place.

“You know, I like that you walk ahead of me sometimes.

Shows leadership, a real confidence about you…

Or arrogance, I can’t tell which

”

“Stop flirting with me, I might think you like me.”

“I do.”

“Oh”

“And I really like it when you blush like that.”

“In fact, if you keep looking at me like that, I might get ideas.”

“Maybe I’d like that”

Yesterday couldn’t have been any more perfect, and I really thought we’d done it all. Which is why I’m so surprised when Ben tugs me out the door after breakfast, promising me just one more thing to complete my Christmas in New York adventure.

“We’re here.”

I love the reassuring way he squeezes my hand as he pulls my attention to the adorable Christmas market sprawling in front of us. Little stalls with all kinds of holiday wares twinkle beneath the lights, and it looks almost like a village tucked into this corner of a park in a bustling city. There’s even a ferris wheel, and it’s everything I didn’t know I wanted.

“Oh, Ben. It’s…. gorgeous.”

He just keeps adding to all the reasons I want to fall for him, even when I shouldn’t. It’s like he’s entirely forgotten that I’m leaving tomorrow.

“As we weave between the crowds of people, I can’t shake off the bittersweet sadness of how wonderful this has been, perfect really. Too perfect..

Because perfect things don’t last.

”

“Hey, what’s that face?”

“Just thinking.”

“His brow is furrowed, face serious as he draws me to the edge of the path and pulls me close, arms wrapping around me, almost like a hug.”

“About?”

“Maybe it’s the tenderness of his touch, or the look on his face. I’m not really sure why I decide to be more honest than I ever planned to be”

“Reality. That this has been incredible, magic really.

But I leave tomorrow and… your life is here.

I don’t want to hurt you.

I don’t want to get hurt.

We can’t just forget that this is temporary.

”

“Nothing is set in stone.

I mean… maybe it doesn’t have to be temporary.”

“We could try, couldn’t we? Stay in touch. Plan visits. Whatever works.

We could try…

I mean… I want to try.

I’m crazy about you, Rose

”

“Ben…”

“We don’t have to decide tonight.

But I just… wanted to let you know where my head is at… that’s all.

Come on, let’s go have a Christmas eve to remember.

No regrets. Okay?

”

“Okay”

After a scenic morning walk, Nick made excuses about something he forgot, and rushed off.

He promised he’d be back, but it’s been like an hour and there’s no sign of him.

Did I do something to scare him off?

Probably.

Maybe it’s better this way… I just wish I believed that... not that I made a habit of believing men much these days.

But I’ve decided to make the most of it as I snuggle down into the coziest blanket I could find, fire roaring and a book—

Or maybe not.

“Delivery of… uh,

Christmas cheer.

And wine!

”

“I’m all for the wine and company but… Christmas cheer? For what?”

“For your tree. It’s looking so much better since we hung those like, three ornaments, but it looks lonely. It needs friends. You don’t want your tree to feel sad do you? ”

“I mean come on, don’t you think it needs a little sparkle?”

Okay, rude.

But as I look around the room, barren of any decorations except the tree, I realise he’s not wrong.

“Nick, I am not decorating ANYTHING else in this house. ”

“Mmmhm, scooch over.”

“Are those… sequined baubles?”

“Absolutely, a whole string of them! Sequins are integral to joy.”

I don’t mean to drop the sequined monstrosity. But I..

“To joy?”

“Yes, joy. Because joy is important.”

He’s impossible. Infuriating even, walking in here like he owns the place and decorating MY tree….

And somehow, his insistence on joy is… working.

“Here, hold this”

I don’t have time to think before he’s dropping something soft and unidentifiable into my hands…

“Is this Santa… wearing sunglasses?”

“Yes! Isn’t he fun?”

“No! He looks like he belongs in a boyband!”

“So? Just means he’ll look perfect over there, right next to the stereo.”

I should refuse. I even plan to, I plan to hold my ground and refuse the very Beach Boys Santa, and—

Why am I walking toward the stereo, why am I setting him down?

“Look at you go! Participating!”

“Don’t narrate my personal growth, Nicholas.”

“Nicholas?? Oof, not the full name… this calls for reinforcements....”

“Ah-ha! Tinsel!”

“Absolutely not. Tinsel is tacky and—”

“Oh my god, no! Nick!”

“Hm?

You know, the tinsel suits you.

”

I watch him watching me, the way he’s taking in the tinsel and his soft smile, it’s almost sweet… if I hadn’t noticed that the thin streamers of glitter were hanging from my tits.

He’s… staring at my tits.

“The… I’ve got the perfect place. Put the tinsel there– yes, on the mantle. The lights…. From the…tree…”

He trails off, watching me as I pick the tinsel up, and losing track of his sentence as he does. I try not to let it affect me, but I can’t ignore the way my skin heats, awareness flushing my chest and tightening my core. So I try to push it away, reaching instead for the next strand of lights, this time to add to the beams over the kitchen door. I keep going, adding lights and tinsel to the room until…

I realise I’m having… fun.

“Higher with that one… yeah.. Wait, a little higher.”

“Nick, I can’t… stretch any higher”

“Here, let me help”

I think about every other time he’s been close to me. Our almost misses and near kisses…. But before I remember that I should say no, he’s at my back, broad chest pressed against me as his hands grip my hips and lift me, just slightly,

I can feel the warmth of him, and the way his cold air and warm pine scent fill my senses makes my pulse flutter like–

“There we go.”

“Thank you for the help. You can put me down now”

“Do you want me to?”

“Why would you ask me that?”

“Because you’re leaning into me, like you want me here”

“Maybe I can just see the tree better from here.”

“And do you like what you see?”

I know it’s a trap, I know I shouldn’t…I turn until I’m facing him, and meet his gaze.

“Yes.”

“Good, then Amelia.. I need you to hold still.”

“Why?”

When I look up, mistletoe hangs above our heads.

“Nick… we can’t...”