Crashing with You (Audio Script)

Stories

The view from your balcony is making me light-headed.

Every time I look down, my head swims and I get that feeling in the pit of my stomach like the floor is about to drop out beneath me.

Maybe coming here was a mistake.

Maybe I should’ve just stayed and stuck it out in Philly, not run away, like I kind of tend to do when things go wrong…

“Hey, we finished off the red. You good with this… weird natural orange wine?”

“Oh, yeah, whatever’s fine.”

“Where did I even get this…?

Whatever, it’ll get the job done.”

“Sorry, I’m drinking you dry, aren’t I?

I’ll pick up some more later.”

“Please.

I have so much random shit people have left at my house.

I’m just glad I’m not drinking alone for a change.”

“And… glad to have a new temporary roommate for a little while, too.

Cheers to that.”

“Very temporary.

I promise.”

“All it took for you to come visit me was a little life crisis.”

“Oh, yeah, please, just roast the shit out of me.

That’s exactly what I need right now.”

I wish I could say I’m happy to be here.

I mean, I am.

I’m happy to be here with you.

I’m just not happy to be… here, in… life.

God, it’s just crazy how things can change so quickly.

Last month I felt like… I’d made it.

I had a perfect apartment with the best natural light and that little coffee shop on the corner.

I was getting signals from my boss that I was going to get that senior manager promotion and a raise to match.

And I had a good relationship.

Not great, but… good.

It worked.

And then one thing after another came crashing down.

The promotion went to my co-worker.

My landlord is selling the building and we all have to move out.

And my relationship crumbled.

At least I have you to run to.

You just… get me.

It’s hard to put into words, but… you’re more than my best friend.

You’re…

I’ve always felt something else between us.

Something… intense.

“Oh my god… look who just matched with me.

I didn’t know she still lived here.”

“Oh, god.

Sorry, but she was one of the worst decisions you ever made.

Why did you ever swipe right on her?”

“I don’t know, she seemed fun.

In a chaotic evil kind of way.”

I haven’t been good at keeping up with friendships from college, but you and I have stayed solid.

We might live in different cities, but we can go months without talking and then pick up right where we left off, like no time at all has passed.

There’s something about you that I’ve always found comforting… stabilizing.

We didn’t get close until our senior year when we both came out as bi.

After that we were completely inseparable.

When everything started falling apart in Philly, I just couldn’t stop thinking about coming to see you in New York.

Like, as soon as I got here, I’d be able to breathe again.

“You know you’re going to be fine.

Right?”

“Yeah, I’ll figure it all out.”

“I know I’ve said it a million times already, but you can stay here as long as you need.

Seriously.”

You flash me a smile and…

I just forgot what I was going to say.

“Want one?”

“Oh… yeah, sure.”

I watch your hands as you take a cigarette out of the pack and place it between your lips.

Your hands… I’ve never really noticed how… elegant they are.

Hmm.

The wine is giving me… weird thoughts…

You hand me the pack and a lighter and our fingers brush.

They’re soft… and warm… I kind of wonder what it feels like to be touched by you.

You’ve had a lot of hookups over the years… and I’ve heard the details of every single one.

But, I’ve never really thought about… what you’re like.

Okay, I gotta relax.

I’m spiraling.

Thinking about you… like that… no, I can’t handle that right now.

Not with my life falling apart at the seams.

“Oh, god.

I feel like such a fuck up.”

“Hey, hey, c’mon.

Ryan couldn’t see what a good thing he had right in front of him.

And fuck your boss.

Fuck your landlord, too.”

“I just don’t understand.

‘We’re growing apart,’—that’s what he said.

Like what the fuck does that even mean?

It sounds like he took it from a movie.”

“Yeah, it does.

Corny.”

“God, I just really don’t want to start over again.

It sounds so exhausting, getting back on the apps, going on a million first dates.

I don’t know if I even remember how to flirt.”

“Of course you do.

I’ve seen you work your magic.

You’re a master at getting people to fall in love with you.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You are.

You have, like, a whole routine.

Here, this is what you do.

First, you brush your hair back behind your ear, like this…”

“Uh-huh.”

“And then you lean forward… not close enough to make a move, but just far enough away to make them wonder.”

You’re looking right at me, straight into my eyes, and… you’re doing a good job.

This must be what it feels like… to be wanted by you.

“You rest your chin on your hand, like this.

And you cross your legs, but you do it in a way so that your ankle just brushes past theirs.”

“Mmhm.”

“And then…

you put your hand on their leg as you lean in…”

A shock of heat shoots through my leg as your hand lands on my thigh.

Fuck.

I’m…

I can’t deny how good that feels.

I feel myself drawn forward… like your body has some kind of pull on mine.

There was always something between us… some intense connection…

I never knew what it was.

But now… I think I do.

I close the space between us and kiss you.

“Um…

fuck.”

“What?”