Rumors (Audio Script)

Stories

“Okay, but how would you be able to measure the efficiency of the proposed solution before it’s actually been implemented?”

“Well, I guess you wouldn’t

You would just have to rely on the data.”

“Then that’s not a customer-focused solution, that’s—”

“Oh! We could create a probability model!

One that predicts success based on the input of previous scenarios.”

“Yeah, but then—nevermind.”

“Okay, folks.

This is a great conversation, but let’s, um, let’s table it for now and pick it up again at tomorrow’s session, huh? Alright, we’ve got a fifteen-minute break, and then we’ve got fireside stargazing around the bonfire.

Can someone go grab more firewood?”

Why do you do this to me?

It’s like, some days we get along totally fine.

I actually enjoy having you on my team.

Other times, like today, I can’t stand to be in the same room with you.

You are, technically, my employee.

Or, rather, I’m your manager.

Sort of.

I think that’s probably what gets me so frustrated when we’re working together.

I know it’s hip right now to downplay hierarchy in the workplace, but honestly I kind of wish our roles were a little better defined.

I mean, I’ve been here longer and I know the ins and outs of our whole system, but sometimes you get benefits that I’ve never been offered.

It’s like you and I are just constantly stepping on each other’s toes.

It was kind of endearing at first, but now it’s really annoying.

And now this weird corporate retreat in the middle of the San Bernardino mountains…

like, how is dropping us all in a giant forest actually supposed to help us be a better team?

Whatever, just two more days and we’ll be back in the city.

“Hey.

Wait up.

Hey.

You good?

I feel like you, uh, weren’t really in the mood for team-building back there.”

“Yeah, well, I guess I can think of better ways to spend my weekend than campfire problem-solving with my co-workers.

Plus, you were kind of being an ass.”

“An ass?

Me?”

“You know you kinda have a bad habit of talking over people.”

“Oh.

Yeah, I’m sorry, I’m working on it.

I just get so excited, get the gears turning, and—”

“You get excited about team-building?”

“This is vacation, you know.

You’re allowed to relax.”

“Uh, no, this is not a vacation.

This is work.

If you hadn’t noticed, our boss is here.

Our boss’s boss is here.”

“So?”

“So, that means I have to be ‘on’ for three days.

You get to be one of the guys, but I’m still Greta from R&D.

Doesn’t matter if we’re doing team-building workshops out in the woods, it’s still work for me.”

“Huh.

Guess I don’t see it that way.”

“Gee, I wonder why.”

I can feel your eyes on my back as I brush past you.

Checking out my ass, maybe…?

Wouldn’t be the first time.

I’ve definitely thought about it.

I know you have, too.

There’s just something… between us.

I don’t know what it is.

One day we’re texting constantly in a meeting we should both be paying attention to.

And the next I can’t stand to look at you.

Two of our colleagues have asked me if we were hooking up since you joined the team last month.

The rumor mill is alive and well at Green Hope, Incorporated.

“Hey, hey, wait a second.”

You lay your hand on my arm.

Heat rises where your fingers meet my skin, but I don’t pull away.

“Can we talk?

Uh, alone?”

The orange flow of the campfire behind me reflects off of your glasses.

Everyone else is already getting settled in their camp chairs, cracking open beers.

They’re distracted, they won’t notice that the two of us aren’t there… hopefully.

“Sure.”

“Let’s, uh, go over here?”

You guide us into a dark clearing a little ways off of the path.

It’s actually really pretty out here, especially at night.

“What’s up?”

“I just, look, I know you’re technically my boss and—”

“Yeah, that’s right, I am.”

“And, I just want you to know that I… respect you.

I really do.

I’ll try to do better.”

I almost roll my eyes at you, but… I hold back.

You’re being genuine, I can tell.

And, honestly, that’s kind of rare with you.

It’s rare with me, too.

So, I’ll take what I can get.

“Thank you.

I appreciate it.”

“I can get a little… pushy, sometimes.”

“Yeah, you can.”

“And I’m not great at doing what I’m told.”

“Noticed that, too.”

You take a step forward.

And then another.

The space between us is closing.

When did we get so close?

“But you’re not so perfect yourself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You can get a little intense, too.

At work, when you’re really concentrating on something, you completely tune out everything around you.”

“Did you bring me over here to make me aware of all my faults?”

“You play with your earring when you’re thinking about something really hard and you get this look on your face.

I’ll ask you something, like, a hundred times, and you won’t respond.”

“So, what, you just sit around at work watching me?

Studying my facial expressions?”

“Maybe.”

I shouldn’t be surprised.

Fuck.

This was bound to happen.

And I wouldn’t have let it if I didn’t really want it to.

I don’t know where this is coming from… whether it’s out of frustration or all of the tension that’s built up between us.

I pull you to me, hard, and push my fingers into the hard muscles of your shoulders.

“We can’t, we can’t…”

“Why not?”

“Do you think anyone can see…?”

“Um… no.

No, we’re good.

You’re worried someone’s going to find out?”

“I just…

it would cause problems, you know, if someone were to see us.