Your Hot Roommate II (Audio Script)

Stories

Yeah?

Of course, come on in.

Oh, no I haven’t seen the extra batteries since… I don’t know, actually.

Since we bought them?

We did buy them, right?

Hm… and you checked the toolbox?

Of course, you did.

So you’ve checked the toolbox, the fridge, the junk drawer, and the hall closet… hmm.

Oh! What about the little drawer on the TV stand?

Yeah, the TV stand.

On the right side, with the little hole in the middle.

But I’m guessing by the look on your face you thought that was decorative.

No reason to feel stupid, it happens to the best of us.

But hey, they might be there!

God, he’s ridiculously adorable sometimes.

You found them?

Oh my god, are you serious?

That’s so many batteries!

But for real, awesome.

Can you bring me two? My mouse has been dead for like a week but I refused to buy batteries… again.

And why on earth would I be wearing them?

I’m home, I have blankets… I wanna be comfy and cozy, I don’t want to be restricted.

Besides, we’ve talked about this before… like, last week even.

I mean, yeah.

I wear sweats when I leave my room… but if you’ll notice, I haven’t left my room.

We did talk about it. You said when it’s hot out, you starfish on your bed in misery, but even in the cold, I’m happy to just vibe in a t-shirt.

Glad that’s ringing a bell for you now.

But you’re acting weird, you okay?

You absolutely are.

You’re… are you counting the cracks in my ceiling? Or…

This t-shirt is, like, five sizes too big.

It’s not like I’m dancing on the counters in my birthday suit.

Though if that’s what you want, it can be arranged… you know, in penance for your battery hunt.

No, oh my god, I was joking.

But look at you! If the floor spontaneously opened up, you’d jump in.

And you’re still not looking at me. Am I really that hard to look at when we’re talking?

You are being so weird.

Come here, sit here on the bed with me and let’s talk it out.

Ah-ah.

Nope, absolutely not.

No arguments. Come here.

Why am I being so stubborn?

Well you’re blushing pretty hard, and you still won’t look at me… but you haven’t left yet.

So I think maybe it’s time to talk.

You seem to be feeling awkward so… let’s make it worse.

I want to tell you something that’s… um, embarrassing? I guess.

But before I do, you tell me something.

A secret or a story… something embarrassing. It’ll make us even.

Oh, come on, you definitely do. I’ve known you long enough to know the kind of stuff you get up to.

Just like you know some of mine… like that time I ended up in the ER with that guy, remember him?

I know, he was definitely more freaked out than me… uncomfortable, but retroactively hilarious.

As embarrassing things often are… so come on… I need you to tell me a story.

Please?

Yeah, I remember that.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

Oh my god, that’s… wow.

How did nobody find out it was you?

I’d have burned the house down, like… there’s no coming back from that.

Okay.

Right, well, you see… the thing is…

Oh come on, you decided this was a good idea, get your—

Okay, okay.

You’re right, I’ll just spit it out that I like you…

I mean, um, I like like you.

I think you’re amazing, so smart and funny, and you’re so pretty!

Shhh, of course boys are allowed to be pretty.

Stop interrupting and let me humiliate myself.

It’s just… something I thought would go away if I didn’t acknowledge it… but it hasn’t, and here we are.

When?

Hmm…

I mean… It’s been a few weeks since I definitively figured it out, but I guess it’s been… lingering for a while now.

But this is absolutely not ideal, and I didn’t want to ruin things or—

I don’t mean it that way. I’m not saying it’d be a bad thing exactly.

It’s just… well… I don’t know!

And I hate not knowing things.

And I guess I just wanted to warn you before the next time I “accidentally” dropped the remote behind the couch just because I like watching you move it.

No, that is objectively incorrect.

Or maybe you’re just… being objectified.

I’d love to say I’m sorry, but honestly I’m not.

I mean, have you seen you?

The way the muscles just… here… flex and move when you lift it with less effort than it takes me to lift the cat…

Well, you’re very efficient… and enjoyable, to, ah… observe.

No, I mean… I really am that clumsy, but maybe I have a better grasp on the remote than I let on. It’s just that it’s so… appealing.

Your power and willingness to help… and it looks so easy for you, like you don’t even have to think about it.

Well… maybe because I do…

I think about it a lot, actually.

Why?

Well… you’re quite strong, you see… if you can lift the whole couch like that… it’s easy to imagine how you might lift… other things… with legs…

Yeah, I do mean me.

You’ve moved closer and… oh god.

Well, you’re definitely looking at me now.

Wow… why are you watching me like that?

With that… look in your eye?

You… what?

You want to?

Are you serious right now?

If you’ve been thinking about it too, then with all due respect… please shut up and come here already.

God, I’ve been fantasizing about this forever, about you, really.

And that, too.

I want you so bad.

I can tell you want it too.

Don’t you?

Say it. Tell me you want me too.

I can feel how hard you are with the way you’re pressed against me.

Fuck, yes. I want you to touch me.

I’m desperate to touch you too.

Mm, yes.

Do that again. I love being pressed up against you like this.

God, I’m a genius.

Telling you I wanna fuck you when we’re already in my bed… so I can feel you so hard and ready like this…

Fuck, yeah, best idea I’ve ever had.

Mmm, your mouth is incredible.

The way you’re kissing me… how you’re sucking and…mmm, biting me…

Yes, there.

My neck is so sensitive, I love being kissed there.

Oh, do you like that?

The way you moan when I tug on your hair makes me wanna do it again…

mm, yeah, that sound is so hot.

That’s hot too, when you grind your hard dick against me like that while you kiss my neck…