A Joke Destroyed My Child · Episode 1 — Opening

Verified subtitle lines and timestamps for this episode:

1. [00:00] Every April Fool's Day, my husband Ryan Carter and his childhood friend Summer
2. [00:04] Brayan played a game of truth or dare. Remember eighth grade? I asked if you
3. [00:10] dared to skip the math exam. You tore the answer sheet paper airplane straight into
4. [00:19] That was nothing. Playing truth or dare on April Fool's Day is basically our
5. [00:25] tradition. Then do you dare to go get a marriage license with me right now?
6. [00:34] Whistles erupted all around. I stood in the doorway, my fingertips pinching a
7. [00:39] pregnancy test. Ryan turned to look at me, then laughed. Why wouldn't I dare? He
8. [00:46] stood up, came over, grabbed my arm, and dragged me into the hallway outside.
9. [00:52] Haley, it's just an April Fool's joke.
10. [00:55] Play along with me.
11. [00:57] Go handle the divorce paperwork first, and tomorrow morning we'll go to City Hall and
12. [01:01] get remarried.
13. [01:02] You know I can't back down in front of Summer.
14. [01:05] I stared at the man in front of me.
15. [01:07] For the sake of his so-called childhood game, I had compromised for five years.
16. [01:11] This time, I wasn't accepting it.
17. [01:13] I'm pregnant.
18. [01:17] Haley, that's a brilliant move!
19. [01:19] Ryan froze for half a beat, then burst out laughing.
20. [01:23] You made up a pregnancy just stopped me from winning? Nice. You're better at April Fools than I am.
21. [01:28] Summer walked over. Hearing our conversation, she laughed too.
22. [01:33] Please, Haley, if you can't handle the game, just say so. Using pregnancy as an excuse? That's so low.
23. [01:43] Exactly.
24. [01:46] Let's go.
25. [01:48] Hurry up. If we're any later, City Hall will close.
26. [01:52] How am I supposed to get the license then?
27. [01:54] He dragged me outside, his steps long and urgent.
28. [01:57] I glanced at the hand gripping my wrist.
29. [01:59] The Pate Philippe on his wrist was the gift he had bought himself
30. [02:03] the day after the first volume of Dark Whispers hit number one on the bestseller list.
31. [02:07] And that April Fool's Day, the gift he gave me
32. [02:10] was kissing Summer in front of every executive in the company.
33. [02:15] Every year, I had to endure the absurd pranks he played on me for Summer on April Fool's Day.
34. [02:23] On the way to City Hall, Ryan drove insanely fast.
35. [02:27] When we arrived at City Hall, what Ryan pulled from his briefcase was not a divorce agreement,
36. [02:33] but a thick stack of documents.
37. [02:35] The title read, Petition for Marriage Annulment and Waiver of All Rights.
38. [02:41] He slapped the documents in front of me and spoke quickly.
39. [02:45] Sign it.
40. [02:46] Declare that our marriage was fraudulent from the beginning because it was based on an April
41. [02:51] Falls joke.
42. [02:52] Once you sign this, our relationship will legally have never existed.
43. [02:58] Then I can register my marriage with Summer legally.
44. [03:00] I picked up the pen and let out a cold laugh.
45. [03:03] Fine.
46. [03:05] Then I'll give you both what you want.